WagWagon

The Stiffy Goat - By Randall (Honey badger)

2012-05-22T10:42:00.003-04:00

Thunder eliminate Lakers, celebrate by shooting people!

2012-05-22T09:54:00.000-04:00

Multiple people wounded in OKC shooting after Thunder eliminate Lakers

"A triumphant night in Oklahoma City took a horrible turn late on Monday. In the immediate aftermath of the Thunder's Game 5 victory over the Los Angeles Lakers on Monday night, multiple reports indicated that multiple people were shot by gunfire about a half-mile east of Chesapeake Energy Arena in a popular area of the city known as "Bricktown." Multiple reports early Tuesday morning indicated, citing police sources, that there were eight victims of the gunfire, including one in "critical" condition and seven others in "non-life threatening" condition. Both The Oklahoman and News9.com reported these details. The Associated Press reported that "at least three people" were wounded in the shooting and that the police confirmed two people were arrested in connection with the shootings. Those arrested have not yet been identified by authorities. Early Tuesday morning, Thunder center Nazr Mohammed posted the following message on Twitter: "Sad to hear what happened in Bricktown after our game. Hope everyone gets home safely. #CelebrateSafely #ThunderUp." The Thunder defeated the Lakers 106-90 on Monday night to advance to the Western Conference Finals. They won the Western Conference semifinals series 4-1." from CBS Sports

And people thought only UK fans in Lexington were crazy. We only shot 1 person!

Comeback Cats - Great Article from Gary Parish at CBSSports.com and I hate Jimmy Dykes

2012-02-22T09:42:00.000-05:00

Nice to see good reporting. I'm tired of all the bias against Calipari and the Wildcats, I especially hated listening to Jimmy Dykes during the game.... What a DOUCHE!

Also wanted to add, the Technical on Davis for hanging on the rim - a total sham! How many guys can dunk... little lone dunk at that velocity? You are more at risk of getting hurt by not hanging on the rim there than you are if you are undercut by a player. Terrible call, terrible comment by Jimmy Douche Dykes saying it was the right call. Bullshit.

Now to the article:

STARKVILLE, Miss. -- John Calipari was "a little mean" at halftime.

Those are his words. Not mine.

And I bet a bunch of his words had only four letters.

"But this team has a will to win, and I told them that," Calipari said. "I said, 'If this game's close, your will to win will take over. Just get it close.' "

So Kentucky got it close. With a smothering defense and a roster full of pros playing like pros, the Wildcats got it close. And then they took the lead. And then they won again.

So that makes two road games in 11 days that looked like losses but somehow turned into victories considering the Wildcats were down two possessions with fewer than nine minutes left two Saturdays ago at Vanderbilt and still won 69-63, and considering they were down three possessions with fewer than nine minutes left late Tuesday here at Mississippi State and still won 73-64.

"I [told my team that] everybody is rooting for us to win this game," Calipari said in an easy-to-identify sarcastic tone. "Let's make them angry."

I'm not sure Calipari's team angered anybody outside of the 10,213 cowbell-loving fans who represented the 19th-largest crowd in the history of Humphrey Coliseum, but I'm certain they impressed a whole bunch of people here and elsewhere. They took Mississippi State's best shot and never flinched. They were down 13 at halftime. They weren't dunking and blocking like they usually dunk and block, and Mississippi State was shooting 48 percent from the field and 50 percent from 3-point range. If you watch much college basketball, you understood this looked and felt like the type of road game a top-ranked team drops.

You know, like when top-ranked Duke lost at unranked Virginia Tech a year ago this week. And when top-ranked Kansas lost at unranked Oklahoma State two years ago this week. And when top-ranked Pittsburgh lost at unranked Providence three years ago this week. Bottom line, in this sport, things like that happen.

But they don't happen to this Kentucky team. Or at least they haven't happened since Christian Watford hit a 3-pointer at the buzzer to beat UK more than two months ago at Indiana's Assembly Hall.

The Wildcats are 19-0 since then, and 27-1 overall.

They might lose again.

But when?

No, they aren't unbeatable. But they sure do look that way sometimes. On Monday, Rick Stansbury pointed out he had seen a lot of Kentucky teams in his 14 seasons at Mississippi State, and then suggested this was the best of the bunch. I asked him if his opinion had changed after playing UK.

"I don't have any different opinion," Stansbury said, which was the answer I expected after watching the Wildcats hold his Bulldogs to 23 points on 32 percent shooting in the final 20 minutes while Dee Bost cooled considerably because of Michael Kidd-Gilchrist.

Bost had 16 points in the first half.

That happened with Marquis Teague guarding him.

Bost missed five of the six shots he took in the second half.

That happened after Kidd-Gilchrist accepted Calipari's challenge to guard him.

"I love that challenge right there," Kidd-Gilchrist said. "I love playing defense."

And that's the thing about these Wildcats -- they have a bunch of really talented guys who love to do a bunch of really important things. Kidd-Gilchrist loves to lock up the other team's best player. Anthony Davis loves to block shots and generally freak people out. Darius Miller loves to come off the bench and make big shots when big shots are needed, and if he doesn't love it then he has, at the very least, embraced it, which is the point I'm really trying to make.

When I watch Kentucky, what I see is a lot of future NBA draft picks completely focused on the task at hand. The Wildcats don't seem worried with who starts or who scores or who wins what honors, which is a unique quality for a roster like this.

They seem confident but not cocky.

They have swagger but not to a fault.

They don't get rattled and they don't look young.

And they don't lose road games even great teams ought to lose.

Again, this looked and felt like one of those games. Kentucky was down 13 early and for most of the second half, and you would've been wise to lay money on the Bulldogs when Bost hit a 3-pointer over Davis' outstretched (and really long) arm to give Mississippi State a 60-53 lead with 6:28 remaining.

But you would've also been wrong. So take the field in the Field of 68 if you want, because I know that's the right play statistically. But me? I'm taking Kentucky. And I won't believe the Wildcats will lose again until I see them lose again.

http://www.cbssports.com/collegebasketball/story/17378598/with-big-comeback-loaded-kentucky-team-shows-it-has-resiliency-too

Honest Radio Ad for Carrying a Gun License

2012-02-07T14:39:00.000-05:00

Listen to the last part of the Ad... He will not teach you the class if you voted for Obama, are a liberal, non-Christian, or Arab. Guess they are serious about stereotypes down in Texas!

UK Ends the 27 year streak and beats Tennessee!

2011-11-29T10:46:00.002-05:00

Get a taste of what it's like to rush the field after a UK win!

UK's New LeBron NIKE Shoe Commercial with Cal

2011-10-14T14:56:00.002-04:00

Actually a decent looking shoe..... and now we have this commercial with Cal in it promoting the University of Kentucky long with the shoe... Win/Win?

Bring on the next round of allegations!

UK Basketball can't get here fast enough!

2011-10-10T16:11:00.000-04:00

Weezer - El Scorcho

2011-09-21T10:29:00.001-04:00

Just to bring back some college memories, I am posting this here... I know Aaron Burzynski knows what I'm talking about!

How to Poop at Work

2011-09-15T14:38:00.002-04:00

How to Poop at Work

It's a sad inevitability. No matter how hard you try, how accurately you plan, how much you control what you eat, it's going to happen at some point: you will have to poop at work. It's where the biological meets the professional and it's always, pardon the expression, a shit show. Let's try to make it easier, shall we?
As the children's book tells us, everyone poops, and everyone has to work, but while we have to work together it doesn't mean we have to poop together, or at least acknowledge that we are all pooping in the same place. It's the great unspoken occurrence of the workplace (unless your office has some crazy rogue nasty pooper or something). So, here are some easy rules to follow so you can drop the deuce without ruining your professional reputation.

Know the Topography

Every office is different in how the toilets are set up, so you have to know the positives and negatives of each set up. If your office has one-man units that's good in terms of privacy but it's hard to escape any blame for noxious fumes. If your bathroom has multiple stalls it's easy to blame the stink on a coworker, but you have to deal with everyone seeing your business. If you work in a restaurant or somewhere the employees use the same facilities as the customers, you have to go without anyone seeing you entering or exiting and possibly ruining your tip. The more you know about the lay of the land, the easier it will be to plan a thorough strategy.

Know the Shitting Toilet

Every bathroom has one, the one bowl that is reserved for dumps. Whether that's the stall in the corner, the bathroom farthest from the desks or what have you, it is the unspoken shitting toilet. Use it. Always. It's like "goal" in a game of tag. No one can judge you if you're in the right place.

Double Check the Door

Make sure it is locked. Twice! If it's not, you are headed for a career-destroying disaster.

Get Out of Dodge

There might be a Starbucks or McDonald's or hotel lobby (always the fanciest toilets around) where you can escape. Sure, the throne is probably totally nasty and filled with a million cooties, but at least you'll have some anonymity. If a third-party toilet is unavailable, perhaps go to another floor of the building or another department and sully their restroom. Crop dust that asshole Bob in accounting on your way. That guy is a dick.

Drop the Book

If someone sees you walking around your workplace carrying a book or a magazine and you don't work at Barnes & Noble, then they know where you're going and your cover is blown, you dirty office shitter. No reading material in the bathroom. And if you're dumb enough to disobey this rule, certainly don't leave your newspaper lying all over the stall. People will just resent having to clean up your mess. And certainly don't leave a half-done crossword lying around. Then people will think you're stupid on top of gross. Everyone these days has a phone, so look at that and put it back in your pocket. Hell, you can even send some emails so if a bomb goes off you have a time-stamped alibi.

Maximize Productivity

I decided to put this in business terms to make it more euphemistic. What I really mean is don't sit your ass in there for like 30 minutes. You may be one of those people who likes to take your sweet time at home chilling your ass over the bowl for as long as you want, but this is work. Not only do you have shit to do (pun definitely intended) but the longer you linger, the longer the chance that you're going to get caught and embarrassed. So get in, get out, and get back to your desk and leave the leisurely loaves for Saturdays.

Know What to Expect

I don't want to be crude, but you have to know when your shit is going to stink. Everyone's does. Fact of life, fact of nature. Get over it. But sometimes it's just vaguely unpleasant and sometimes it's a nose-pinching, face-contorting, hand-waving Stink-O-Rama. Based on your digestive situation and what you've been eating for the past 24 hours (pistachios, amirite), you should know which one it's going to be. If it's the former, go to the usual washroom. If it's one of the latter, maybe you should see about finding somewhere else (see above) to spill that toxic waste.

Bring Matches

They're free just about everywhere, easily slipped into a purse or pocket for emergencies, and completely effective for disguising what smells like an elephant's corpse rotting in the gutter. Sure, people are still going to know you unleashed a turd, but they'd rather smell that vaguely ashy and sulfuric aftersmell than the stench of your Second-Day Curry.

No Talking

If you get into a stall, there is no talking to anyone on the outside, unless you have an Elaine-esque toilet paper emergency. It doesn't matter if you enter the space with a coworker in the midst of conversation, as soon as you cross that threshold you need to shut the fuck up. If it's that important, pause before the bathroom door and finish up before heading in. No talking in the group toilet. Period. And this includes grunting while you take a crap.

Time the Traffic

If you're in a communal bathroom, try your best to get some alone time. This might be impossible based on the size of your office and the busyness of your bathroom. Make sure there is no one around for the noisiest and most evident part of your business. That's just common courtesy. That might mean holding it back for a bit if someone else interrupts. That's fine. They may know why you're in there, but proving them right is unsavory at best. If you enter the bathroom and realize someone is mid-turd, head to the sink, wash your hands, and leave. Let them finish in peace. You'd be thankful if someone did that for you.

Destroy the Evidence

With some matches and a bit of subterfuge, you can make it appear like you haven't used the toilet at all. That's what everyone wants, to be able to completely ignore the fact that we all have to shit in a communal space. However, that becomes impossible if you leave things behind that destroy that delusion. That includes a streaky bowl. You know what I'm talking about. In the immortal words of Aunt Sassy on The Comeback, "I don't need to see that!" Flush the toilet a few times and get the water to erase away your mark of Cain before exiting.

Exit Strategy

If you run into someone going into the bathroom while you're leaving it and you just did something foul in there, you have to warn them—especially if it's a one man unit. However, you can not tell the truth. Ever. Use the old, "There's no toilet paper in there," ruse. That's a good one. Or the, "The guy before me clogged it." Everyone knows it's a lie, but that's OK. This is all about keeping up pretenses and maintaining the truth. When it comes to office pooping, conscientious denial is the name of the game.

Wash Your Hands

What are you, an animal?

http://gawker.com/5839808/how-to-poop-at-work

Batmanning is the new Owling...planking...whatever Internet Meme..

2011-09-08T13:32:00.001-04:00

Now this is one of these dumbass things I might actually be able to get behind!

2011 was probably the lamest summer in recent history, due in no small part to the seemingly endless barrage of "position crazes" (I really don't know what else to call them) to wind their way down the internets. First there was planking. Then there was owling. Cone-ing. Pillaring. Hawking. Carmageddoning. Horsemaning. Backlashing. Chenning. And now, Batmanning, which was allegedly thought up by the Purdue students in the above video, and not some Warner Bros. viral marketing department. Right. Either way, it's about as cool as rubber nipples on a Robin suit. Next up, Rodining (recreating The Thinker on the john), Regising (perching on a high chair and staring off in befuddlement) and Bachmanning (pleasuring oneself with a hairbrush handle). Get out there and snap those crazy pics, kids!

Kentucky's Very Own Kige Ramsey Featured on Deadspin

2011-09-08T10:17:00.001-04:00

Good work Kige, I guess there are worse things you could be known for...

Deadspin Article here:
http://deadspin.com/5838084/deadspin-hall-of-fame-2011-its-time-to-nominate-the-worthiest

In case you forgot... You're a HOMO!

2011-09-04T20:35:00.000-04:00

Chappelle Show Clip of the Day

2011-09-04T13:01:00.002-04:00

This may be a daily contribution, may be a weekly contribution.....it may be something that I tire of pretty quickly! Anyway I have been thinking a lot about a show that I know is near and dear to mine and Brandon's hearts. That is the Chappelle Show! We spent plenty of time in our college years watching the two seasons and the re-runs and the DVDs. This was a show that would have probably still been on to this day if it had not been for a "nervous breakdown" or Dave thinking he had sold out. Whatever the reason it stopped it was way too early. Here's one that myself and another good friend of mine have been talking about and I thought you guys would enjoy it. This clip is a skit called the "Player Hater's Ball". Enjoy.

Happy Labor Day

2011-09-04T12:56:00.004-04:00

Labor Day has become a day that hopefully all of us get to have a 3 day weekend, cook-out, hang out with friends/family, and eat and drink too much. It's a weekend to shut down pools after one last rodeo and a day after which you can't wear white......I guess. I don't really care.

Anyway don't know where I'm going with this but Happy Labor Day! I hope all of you out there have a great one. You all deserve it.....well not all of you but I'm sure some of you do......well some of you may be a reach but I know at least Brandon and I do slaving away sporatically on this page. So you're welcome!

Seriously though to everyone reading Happy Labor Day. I hope you all have a great one!

America's View of the World

2011-08-30T13:17:00.002-04:00

I'd like to think we aren't this bad, but there is some truth to this. At least from my perspective. I do think some of these things about other countries and pretty much think USA is numero uno! Viva America!

I don't know if people have noticed but our Dollar is now less valuable than the Canadian Dollar.... I remember getting magazines that had different prices for US and Canada and it was always more if you were in Canada.... No more my friends - I wonder if you can find these magazines today that are reversed. Thanks to the dumbass mortgage crisis started by Clinton and now the last 3 years of wasteful spending by Obama, it appears things are going to get worse before they get better.

It's always darkest just before dawn... well I hope the dawn is the 2012 elections when Obama is outed and a new era begins the following January.

First of many Top 5 Lists

2011-08-30T11:45:00.005-04:00

I just heard a great sound-bite on a Jim Rome commercial featuring the always entertaining Allen Iverson ("Not a game.....not a game.....but practice!").

It got me thinking about the best and funniest sports sound-bites of all time, more specifically with college football and the NFL firing up, the funniest football soundbites of all time. I'm sure you've probably heard some or all these, but who doesn't love a good countdown. Actually I think this will be something I bring to you on a regular basis. So here it is folks, The Top 5 Funniest Football Soundbites of all time!

5. The Classic Jim Mora Soundbite which all funny soundbites should be measured:

4. The Un-edited Dennis Green Rant:

3. Peyton about to get destroyed! (*I never approve of the use of this word in any situation but the way he calls out his blocker....RB Donald Brown....is priceless)

2. Randy Moss in a quote that will love on forever in my mind:

And finally #1 would have to be for sheer comedy purposes:

1. Mike Gundy's famous quote:

In actuality the whole interview from Mike Gundy is hysterical! It's def worth listening to. So there's my first Top 5 list, hope you enjoyed. I'll try to bring you more as I come up with them.

Kayne at it Again!

2011-08-30T11:25:00.005-04:00

From the man that has brought you such hits as "Heartless", "Stronger", and "Power"; along with such unforgettable moments like:

"George Bush doesn't care about black people!" and

"No offense but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all-time!"

Mr. West has recently said that he is hated on the level on Hitler was hated on. I guess I could see the comparisons between Hitler and Kayne are legit. Both are/were douchebags and both of them say stupid things that insight large crowds!

What an idiot!

Another Day at the Office

2011-08-30T10:38:00.003-04:00

Another day at the office! Tired, lil sleepy, lil hungry but I think I'll make it!

Mission Accomplished - Hero Returns!

2011-08-29T14:56:00.001-04:00

Welcome back hero!

Arian Foster Can't Stand Colin Cowherd, Either

2011-08-29T14:40:00.002-04:00

Arian Foster Can't Stand Colin Cowherd, Either:

Foster joins George C. Scott (and, well, "everybody"): "Did you want to be a critic as a child? Or did your dreams die with your humility? RT @ESPN_Colin Hey Arian Foster—-'We really do care about you as a human too. Um,now about that hammy? —signed, everybody" [@ArianFoster, @ESPN_Colin]

Somebody's Got a Case of the 'Mundays'!

2011-08-29T11:23:00.000-04:00

That person would be me. I think I would probably kill someone if they told me that in person.... Let's take a look at Lawrence's response to this.

Forget the 4 Horsemen Pally

2011-08-29T11:10:00.002-04:00

I agree with Mr. Thompson's comment from my first post, forget the 4 Horsemen, that's a little low rent. Here's your new clue as to what's going to be coming down the pipeline for this site and our loyal readers!

Meet Your Newest UK Wildcats

2011-08-29T10:25:00.004-04:00

No sadly enough it's not Archie Goodwin or Shabazz Muhammad....hoping this becomes a reality, still believe in Cal....anywhere let me get back to the point. Our newest players are two walk-ons. One is Brian Long from New Jersey, he seems like an interesting kid, from what I can tell by his Twitter bio:

The other may be the coolest walk-on that UK has ever grabbed. Cooler than Ravi Moss, cooler than Mark Krebs....which is pretty tough. Hell he might be as cool as any player in UK history, including John Wall, Kenny "Sky" Walker, and "King" Rex Chapman. This man is a former relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox until his career was derailed by alcoholism. He then went on to buy and run a mildly successful bar in the Boston area and even owned a Corvette! Take that Rex Chapman and your I-ROC. The man I'm talking to is seen below and I think the UK fanbase is really gonna fall in love with him, especially the ladies! That man is Mr. Sam Malone.

Sam.....you're gonna be just fine! As long as Diane will stay out of your damn way!

The Man is Back in Town

2011-08-29T09:56:00.003-04:00

Woooooooo!!!

Mean ByGod Gene!!! The man is back in town and we're getting back together! Like I did over a year ago, I have come back at the invitation of "The Enforcer" Brandon Thompson! I'm here to stay and I promise this time I'm not going anywhere!

This site was started by the genius, hard work, and talents of Mr. Thompson and together we are going to take this page to new heights and new levels of awesomeness! Is awesomeness a real word? It is now my man!

We are going to work together and bring you the latest in the world of news, entertainment, sports (especially UK Sports), and anything else we decide to talk about. It's for your own good and you're going to like it!

Seriously I am thrilled to be a part of this page again and we are going to burn this page up. So check back numerous times a day b/c we are going to offer you all the news of the day in one fun and absurd way!

Oh and I hope you enjoyed my wrestling references because we may just have another surprise for you very soon. Want a hint.....

Texas A&M informs Big 12 they're Leaving!

2011-08-25T15:13:00.003-04:00

It is officially the beginning of the end. The end of the chincy conferences and the beginning of the super power conferences. How long will it take for the Aggies to join the SEC? I give it 2 weeks... Turkish!

From the report on CBSSports.com
Texas A&M released a statement on Thursday saying that it had informed the Big 12 that it intends to explore the possibilities of a new conference.

“As I have indicated previously, we are working very deliberately to act in the best long-term interests of both Texas A&M and the State of Texas. This truly is a 100-year decision,” said Texas A&M president R. Bowen Loftin in the statement.

“While we understand the desire of all parties to quickly reach a resolution, these are extremely complex issues that we are addressing methodically. Ultimately, we are seeking to generate greater visibility nationwide for Texas A&M and our championship-caliber student-athletes, as well as secure the necessary and stable financial resources to support our athletic and academic programs,” Loftin added. “As a public university, Texas A&M owes it to the state’s taxpayers to maximize our assets and generate additional revenues both now and well into the future.”

Now, this does not mean that the Aggies have left the Big 12 just yet, just that they're officially letting the Big 12 know that they're looking to.

It's the "I think we should see other people" of the college football world.

As we're all well aware, Texas A&M hopes to join the SEC, and the next logical step will be for the school to apply to the conference as its thirteenth member. While the SEC has made no formal invite to Texas A&M and has gone out of its way to make that point that the SEC didn't court the Aggies, you have to think that Texas A&M has a pretty good idea of what the SEC's response will be for the school to let the Big 12 know if its plans.

When the SEC will make a public decision on whether or not it will accept Texas A&M as it's thirteenth school, we can't be sure. It could be next week or a month from now, all we really know is that today's move by Texas A&M made it a lot more likely that the announcement will come at some point.

http://eye-on-collegefootball.blogs.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/24156338/31544560